Jay: Get offa me. I wanna see what's up. What the fuck is this shit? Who the fuck are you, lady? Why the fuck did you hug my head?
Metatron: Quite a little mouth on him, isn't there?
Jay: What the fuck is this, The Piano? Why ain't this broad talking?
Metatron: I believe the answers that you seek lie within my companion's eyes.
Jay: What the fuck does that mean? Has everyone gone fuckin' nuts? What the fuck happened to that guy's head? I want some...

-Dogma.

Tony Montana: I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.

-Scarface.

Snatch
tyrone- of course i did

Shaun-''Mum, on severl ocasions Philp has toched me''
Mum-'stairs at Shaun
Shaun-That was a lie, sorry, shouldnt have done that

Shaun of the Dead

Skate Movies count?
''Action''
''Ha, action, this isn't a profesional outake, this is just 2 guys fucking around in a kitchen''

This 'n' That

Human Traffic -

Moff- Nice one bruv'aaaa!
Jib - Niiiiice one bruv'aaaaaaaa!!!
(repeat)


Trainspotting -

Renton - Its shite being scotish!
(and the shite being scotish speach)

Harry - How did you lose Gorgeous George, e's not exactly a pair of fucking car keys now is he?

-Snatch-

Ginger Steve: When I wake up in the morning, I look in the mirror and think 'Fuck Yes'.

-Squadrophenia.

team america:

Gary:wow a flying limo now ive seen everything

Spotswood:O really have you ever seen a man eat his own head?

Gary:hmm no

Spotswood: there you go Gary you havent seen everything

Willy Wonka: "Every single thing in this room is eatable, even I am eatable! But that's what we call cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies."
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Mr Brown: Mr Brown, isn't that a bit close to, Mr Shit?

-Reservoir Dogs.

'Why the fuck are you filming me you cunt!'

-Porno Pauls Dirty Skateboard Movie.

''loosey goosey baby! loosey goosey!''

"I like to keep me knee caps raaaaaaaazor sharp.so sharp you can shave with em"

snatch
can't remember how it goes exactly but it's something like-
Who are you planning on shooting with that 6 pound pile of shit? ze germans!

Training day
snoop dogg(guy in the wheels chair)- Do i look like a fucking sycker to you nigger

In the unknown words of the virgin mary...Come again?-Snatch.

Badboy 2

Marcus: Mike, theres a papa rat humping the shit out of a mama rat, He's straight pile driving her
Mike : how is that information anygood to me right now
Marcus:They fuck just like us

Kurtz: The horror.....

-Apocolayse Now.

A classic scene from snatch

Motss: The President will be a hero. In a time of war, he brought peace.
Brean: But there never was a war.
Motss: All the greater the accomplishment.

Wag The Dog

heres a few funny scenes, not really quotes

click - who the fuck is reggie

click - how the hell can u wake up dead

click - mouse in a house

Shaun of The Dead
Ed- Can I get.. any of you cunts a drink?

Goodfellas
Henry- One day, some kids from the neighbourhood helped my mother carry some groceries home.. D'ya know why..? It was outta' respect.

Mark Churchill, The Vans tour.

" Gonna go for a pivot fakie... Gotta be a backside boneless... And throw in the crowdpleaser.... Seemed to go down quite well"

Hyman Roth: This is the business we've chosen.

-The Gotfather, part 2.

Antonio: Zaza!

-The Godfather, part 3.

Chief Bud McGee: Why do you bring a video camera to school?
Trevor: The same reason you bring a gun to work. To shoot people.

-Bang, Bang, You're Dead.

Jim: No, no. No, see this is a really shit idea. You know why? Because it's really obviously a shit idea.

Jim: [walking around deserted London] Hello?

Writing on a Wall: The end is extremely fucking nigh.

-28 Days Later.

Verbal: You think you can catch Keyser Soze? You think a guy like that comes this close to getting caught, and sticks his head out? If he comes up for anything it'll be to get rid of me. After that... my guess is you'll never hear from him again.

Verbal: After that my guess is that you will never hear from him again. The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist. And like that... he is gone.

Verbal: Keaton always said, "I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him." Well I believe in God, and the only thing that scares me is Keyser Soze.

Verbal: How do you shoot the devil in the back? What if you miss?

Jack Baer, FBI: They tell me you got the cripple from New York in there. He mention Keyser Soze?
Dave Kujan: Who?
Jack Baer, FBI: Bear with me here...
Dave Kujan: [Kujan bursts into Rabin's office] Who's Keyser Soze?
Verbal: Ohhh, fuck!

-The Usual Suspects.

Mikey Wright 'knocks on biffa bin', ''What are you doing?''
''Whats it look like?, I'm keeping it real dickhead''

This n That

Mr Orange: Fuck you! Fuck you! I'm fucking dying over here! I'm fucking dying!

Mr. Pink: I'm very sorry the government taxes their tips, that's fucked up. That ain't my fault. It would seem to me that waitresses are one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. Look, if you ask me to sign something that says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it, put it to a vote, I'll vote for it, but what I won't do is play ball. And as for this non-college bullshit I got two words for that: learn to fuckin' type, 'cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent you're in for a big fuckin' surprise.

Joe: With the exception of Eddie and myself, whom you already know, we're going to be using aliases on this job. Under no circumstances do I want any one of you to relate to each other by your Christian names, and I don't want any talk about yourself personally. That includes where you been, your wife's name, where you might've done time, or maybe a bank you robbed in St. Petersburg. All I want you guys to talk about, if you have to, is what you're going to do. That should do it. Here are your names...
[pointing to each respective member]
Joe: Mr. Brown, Mr. White, Mr. Blonde, Mr. Blue, Mr. Orange, and Mr. Pink.
Mr. Pink: Why am I Mr. Pink?
Joe: Because you're a faggot, alright?

-Reservoir Dogs.

i said brr, it cold in here...there must be some toros in the atmosphere

Flip Really sorr
Jonny Rotten-
Alliee booolardarr

Jonny Rotten - (carnt remeber egzactly but summit like this)
One of the reasons this video took so long to make was as good as they are on there skateboards there fuckin idiots off them

Alie Boulada (or how ever its spelt) -
My hass is out

Ali Boulala you muppet

You're far safer than i thought you were simon.

Thanks NF, your cool too.

'' get it together! its like watching a bunch of retards trying to fuck a doornob out there!'' - dodgeball

''ladies and gentleman, i have been to the great wall of china, i have seen the pyramids of egypt, ive even seen a fully grown man satisfy a camel'' - dodgeball

A Bring It On fan?

Walter Chalmers: Come on, now. Don't be naive, Lieutenant. We both know how careers are made. Integrity is something you sell the public.

Durant: Six-One, this is Six-Four, go to UHF secure. I've got some bad news.
Cliff Wolcott: Limo is a word, Durant. I don't want to hear about it.
Durant: It is not a word. It's an abbreviation of a word.
Cliff Wolcott: Limo is a word in common usage. That is the key phrase in scrabble, my friend, common usage.
Durant: No! If it's not in the dictionary, it doesn't count.
Cliff Wolcott: It doesn't have to be in the dictionary!
Durant: It does have to be in the dictionary! Listen, when we get back to base, it's coming off the board.
Cliff Wolcott: You touch my limo and I'll spank you, Night Stalker. You hear me?
Durant: Yeah. Promises.

Yurek: It's Yurek! You fucking assholes!
Nelson: Fuck!
Twombly: We almost fucking killed you! Well, come to us!
Yurek: Fuck you! Come to me!

McKnight: Get us off this fucking street!

-Black Hawk Down.

haha, gotta love it

Dwight McCarthey: Choosing where to fight counts alot, but there's nothing like having your friends show up with alot of guns.

-Sin City.

The entire diaglouge of Borat.

Quadrophenia.

"All you fuckin' Mr Postmen!, Fuck off, GO ON!"

most of malcolm mcdowell's lines in clockwork orange

"we have such sights to show you" (pinhead, hellraiser)

"something terrible happened here" (the cop from silent hill realises after surviving half way threw the film lmao)

more dodgeball ones.
'fucking chuck orris'
'you know in some countries they only eat vomit'

Jules: Mmmm! Goddamn, Jimmie! This is some serious gourmet shit! Usually, me and Vince would be happy with some freeze-dried Taster's Choice, but he springs this serious GOURMET shit on us! What flavor is this?
Jimmie: Knock it off, Jules.
Jules: [pause] What?
Jimmie: I don't need you to tell me how fucking good my coffee is, okay? I'm the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Bonnie goes shopping she buys SHIT. Me, I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I want to taste it. But you know what's on my mind right now? It AIN'T the coffee in my kitchen, it's the dead nigger in my garage.
Jules: Oh, Jimmie, don't even worry about that...
Jimmie: No, let me ask you a question. When you came pulling in here, did you see a sign out in front of my house that said Dead Nigger Storage?
Jules: Jimmie, you know I ain't seen no...
Jimmie: Did you see a sign out in front of my house that said Dead Nigger Storage?
Jules: [pause] No. I didn't.
Jimmie: You know WHY you didn't see that sign?
Jules: Why?
Jimmie: 'Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead niggers ain't my fucking business, that's why!

Butch: You okay?
Marsellus: Naw man. I'm pretty fuckin' far from okay.
Butch: What now?
Marsellus: What now? Let me tell you what now. I'ma call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin' niggers, who'll go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talkin', hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'ma get medieval on your ass.

Jules: I don't wanna hear about no motherfuckin' ifs. All I wanna hear from your ass is, You ain't got no problem, Jules. I'm on the motherfucker. Go back in there, chill them niggers out and wait for the calvary which should be coming directly.
Marsellus: You ain't got no problem, Jules. I'm on the motherfucker. Go back in there, chill them niggers out and wait for the Wolf who should be coming directly.
Jules: You sendin' the Wolf?
Marsellus: Oh, you feel better, motherfucker?
Jules: [relieved] Shit, Negro, that's all you had to say!

Jules: The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

Marsellus: I'm prepared to scour the the Earth for that motherfucker. If Butch goes to Indochina, I want a nigger waiting in a bowl of rice ready to pop a cap in his ass.

Butch: Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead.

(After Vincent shoots Marvin)
Vincent: Whoa!
Jules: What the fuck's happening, man? Ah, shit man!
Vincent: Oh man, I shot Marvin in the face.
Jules: Why the fuck did you do that!
Vincent: Well, I didn't mean to do it, it was an accident!
Jules: Oh man I've seen some crazy ass shit in my time...
Vincent: Chill out, man. I told you it was an accident. You probably went over a bump or something.
Jules: Hey, the car didn't hit no motherfucking bump.
Vincent: Hey, look man, I didn't mean to shoot the son of a bitch. The gun went off. I don't know why.
Jules: Well look at this fucking mess, man. We're on a city street in broad daylight here!
Vincent: I don't believe it.
Jules: Well believe it now, motherfucker! We gotta get this car off the road! You know cops tend to notice shit like you're driving a car drenched in fucking blood.
Vincent: Just take it to a friendly place, that's all.
Jules: This in the Valley, Vincent. Marcellus ain't got no friendly places in the Valley.
Vincent: Well Jules this ain't my fucking town, man!
Jules: Shit!

Jules: I want you to go in that bag, and find my wallet.
Pumpkin: Which one is it?
Jules: It's the one that says Bad Motherfucker

-Pulp Fiction.

" BEhind this mask is more than flesh, theres an idea, And ideas are bulletproof" V For Vendetta

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8-VBQ8i1FQ

BRICK:the party,with the pants, the party with the pants,
VERONICA:brick. are you saying that theres a party in your pants and that im invited?
BRICK: thats it*smiles*
VERONICA:did brian tell you to say this brick?
BRICK:*shakes head slightly laughing*n-yes

Snatch

Brick Top: Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt... me.

Jim: No, no. No, see this is a really shit idea. You know why? Because it's really obviously a shit idea.

28 Days Later.

Richie: The Ranger's taking a piss. Why don't I just go there, blow his head off and get outta here.
Pete Bottoms: Don't do that! Look, you asked me to act natural, and I'm acting as natural - in fact, under the circumstances, I think I ought get a fuckin' Academy Award for how natural I'm acting.

Richie: Where are my glasses?
Seth: They broke when you fell.
Richie: Oh, fuck, Seth, that's my only pair!
Seth: Don't worry about it, we'll get you some glasses.
Richie: Whatdya mean, don't worry about it. Of course I'm gonna worry about it, I can't fuckin' see.
Seth: When we get to El Rey, I'll take care of it.
Richie: Yeah, like a Mexican hole-in-the-wall's gonna have my fuckin' prescription.

Santanico Pandemonium: I'm not gonna drain you completely. You're gonna turn for me. You'll be my slave. You'll live for me. You'll eat bugs because I order it. Why? Because I don't think you're worthy of human blood. You'll feed on the blood of stray dogs. You'll be my foot stool. And at my command, you'll lick the dog shit from my boot heel. Since you'll be my dog, your new name will be "Spot". Welcome to slavery.
Seth: No, thanks. I've already had a wife.

Frost: I came to my senses. I realized I killed the entire V.C. Squad singlehanded. There was blood... and chunks of yellow flesh clinging to my bayonet. To this day, I don't remember...

Kate: Are you okay?
Seth: Peachy, Kate. The world's my oyster, except for the fact that I just rammed a wooden stake in my brother's heart because he turned into a vampire, even though I don't believe in vampires. Aside from that unfortunate business, everything's hunky-dory.

From Dusk Till Dawn.

Ace: I have a package for you, sir.
Guy: Sounds Broken.
Ace: Most likely. I bet it was something nice, though.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective



- Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It's just not really widely reported.

- I, for one, do not think the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem may have been that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf. That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.

This Is Spinal Tap.



Is that not the perfect visual image of life and death? A fish flapping on the carpet, and a fish not flapping on the carpet.

Kill Bill: Vol. 2.

John McClane: C'mon baby, come ta' papa, I'll kiss ya' fuckin' dalmatian.

FBI Agent Johnson: [on the phone] Hello this is agent Johnson.
[sighs]
FBI Agent Johnson: No, the other one.

John McClane: Why the fuck didn't you stop them, John? Because then you'd be dead, too, asshole.

Hans Gruber: Mister Mystery Guest? Are you still there?
John McClane: Yeah, I'm still here. Unless you wanna open the front door for me.
Hans Gruber: Uh, no I'm afraid not. But you have me at a loss. You know my name but who are you? Just another American who saw too many movies as a child? Another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he's John Wayne? Rambo? Marshall Dillon?
John McClane: Was always kinda' partial to Roy Rogers actually. I really dig those sequined shirts.
Hans Gruber: Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mister Cowboy?
John McClane: Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.

Supervisor: Attention, whoever you are. This channel is reserved for emergency calls only...
John McClane: No fucking shit, lady. Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza?

Die Hard.

FIGHT CLUB:

"I want you to hit me as hard as you can"

"We are not Rockstars, we are not those things they said we would be. And we are very...very pissed off."


There's hundreds more but my mind is blank

The Woodsman "Walter. do you still want me to sit on your lap. i will i don't mind..."

Donnie Darko "A storm is coming, Frank says / A storm that will swallow the children / And I will deliver them from the kingdom of pain / I will deliver the children back the their doorsteps / And send the monsters back to the underground / I'll send them back to a place where no-one else can see them / Except for me / Because I am Donnie Darko."

"Dang, he ain't gon' be on Rush Hour 3"

-Rush Hour 2

Bottom.

"You want a taste eddie"

"I would rather cut of my penis with a rusty breadknife"

John McClane: Where's the fuckin' door?

Die Hard 2: Die Harder.

John McClane: There's gold in the federal reserve, and they took a shit load of it!

Die Hard With A Vengeance.